The lousy companion -Part 1
It was on a beautiful summer day. I didn’t suspect a thing.
I settled down on a striped deck chair and started sucking on a yellow water ice. In front of me was a pond where ducks were squabbling. For a long time I had been in a serious relationship with the random person I had been flirting with some time ago. Together we now lived in a large castle. Only there was a problem. Said random person, with whom I now eked out my existence, had developed an unpleasant habit.
When you are in a relationship, you get to know each other better. You dare to do something. You’re no longer so reserved and you don’t always show your best side. I’m guilty of that myself, and I don’t want to denounce anyone here.
But then it so happened that the random person on this beautiful summer day came down to me at the pond where I was sitting, thoughtfully looking at cloud pictures and sucking my water ice. She sat down with me. I put my hand on her thigh and asked, what I thought was a very nice question, “Well, how are you?” She replied in a slightly depressed tone that she was worried. “About what?” I asked in amazement, having the impression that everything was just dreamlike. “I don’t know” hesitated the random person, squirming as if she had to force herself mightily to tell me something. I frowned. “Honey” I said warningly “what’s wrong?”
The random person looked me straight in the eye, sighed, and said softly, “I’ve been sort of intimate with the Indian ambassador.” I groaned and said, “Not this again.” This is exactly what I meant by the unpleasant habit. If there was no drama for too long, one was invented. Then it was just getting intimate with the Indian ambassador, who had been a friend of the family for a long time. I really wondered if the random person found something in the Indian ambassador that I could not offer her. The doubts were justified, however, as there was little variation in our lovemaking, as I wanted to be cuddled primarily. The Indian ambassador, on the other hand, seemed to be of a completely different caliber. That distinctive jawbone…
I stood up and walked towards the castle. I knew the conversation was going nowhere and decided to walk away until things calmed down. Sooner or later the random person would come crawling back craving love, and then I would be lying naked on the hearthrug with an uncorked bottle of wine, only too ready to accept a comprehensive apology.
So I showered with relish, listened to my favorite music, and ate liquor chocolates I’d found in a drawer. I called for Arthur the butler to hand me the towel and wrapped myself in my most comfortable robe. So I danced exuberantly around the castle, finally driving the Indian ambassador’s prominent jaw from my thoughts. I danced through the long room where the Round Table normally sat and dined, down the ballroom, and into the library.
There I sat down in my favorite chair, crossed my legs, and opened the illustrated book about Greenland that I had received as a gift for my last birthday. Concentrating, I was engrossed in endless snowy landscapes and gazing in amazement at a picture of a polar bear dipping a paw in cold glacier water when I heard a loud rumbling sound. Contenance I told myself, but paused and pricked up my ears for more noise. It rumbled again, several times, then something fell clattering to the ground.
I clicked my tongue disapprovingly and got out of my chair to check on things. I descended the wood-paneled spiral staircase in the direction from which I thought I heard the rumbling. Shortly thereafter I found myself in a cozy, carpeted room with a fireplace on whose rug I planned to loll when the time seemed appropriate. And what I saw there took my breath away.